3 Life lessons
About four years ago, I had a good friend give me some homework. He asked me to write down the 3 life lessons that have been the most valuable in my life. I decided to write it down and email it to him, which he didn’t ask for, but I’m glad I did it. Now I have a record of where I was at during that point in my life, and what was most important to me. This person was very special to me because he helped me kickstart my personal growth journey. He introduced me to the world of philosophy and self awareness, which were things I had never cared for much before. Now that I think about it, he is one of the biggest influences that has shaped me into what I am today. So, thank you, Jackson. You are an absolute superstar!
I found that this little exercise helped me so much, that I found myself writing it into my first recently completed novel, as well as asking it to a new friend who reminds me of a younger version of myself. This new friend told me that I should update mine after I reviewed my last one and found that lot of it I didn’t find applicable anymore. I was a very different person four years ago than I am today, and here is some proof of it!
3 Life Lessons of 2017
To have dreams and aspirations in life is what gives you a sense of purpose. Achieving your goals give you the euphoric sense of accomplishment. Work hard to achieve what you want and to never let anything get in your way. Live your life without limitations that people place on you. Never take no for an answer if you believe it can be done. Have the determination to work through hurdles.
Never giving up means that you have a purpose and something to look forward to. Without ambitions what are you living for?
Be honest for yourself. Always take accountability for your actions. Honesty is a moral stance to do the right thing. Hiding feelings and your emotions means you are hiding who you are. What kind of a life is it if you cannot comfortably be who you are? Those who have an issue with it are not meant to be in your life, and those who are will appreciate your honesty. This also includes staying true to yourself and doing what you want to do. Not holding back from what you want because someone else does not agree. Agreeing with something you do not believe in simply because it is easier will lead you to a life of regret.
We were all created differently for a reason. No one deserves to be lied to. No life was meant to be lived simply to please others. No life was meant to be lived behind a mask.
Live your life
It is so easy to get lost in the day to day happenings in life that we forget to live it. One day you will blink and three years will have passed, where you didn’t achieve what you wanted to because you were too distracted by the everyday things. I think it is important to live your life when you are young and able, so you have stories to tell and you can look back on life one day and think “wow that was fun”. You are never guaranteed a certain amount of time on this earth so I think it is important to make the most of every day.
I think that I definitely took the last one and ran with it! But the way I have worded things I find interesting. It was at that point in my life that I was struggling more with my health issues. Some days I couldn’t walk, and most days I couldn’t even carry my keys in the right side pocket without it causing excruciating pain.
And now, this is where I am at in 2021…
3 Life Lessons of 2021
Get Comfortable Alone
One of the biggest things I appreciate now more than ever, is to spend time alone. Just the thought of being alone used to give me anxiety. Needing to sit there with just my thoughts to keep me company. And that was the last thing I wanted to do when my mind was so crazy. I needed a distraction from it, so I would be constantly socialising, drinking, or doing something to keep my mind busy.
But these days, and a big thank you to Corona, I am 100% content with my own company. I don’t wake up each day and try to find a way to socialise. I just do my own thing, yoga, meditation, eat, write, study, all alone. And it is a really satisfying feeling. My mind chatters far less than it used to. And I believe that is only because I let it run free. I let it get out everything it was trying to push at me for so many years. And the harder I resisted, the harder it would push.
Now that I have come to accept my mind and become more accepting of myself, spending time alone is something I really treasure. It allows me to reflect on how far I have come and to enjoy the present moment. It is a liberating feeling to not need to share every moment of your life with someone, just for the sake of not wanting to be alone.
Unfortunately this is one that I still struggle with sometimes, but I do believe it is very important. Very often I find myself holding back because I don’t want to upset anyone by expressing my feelings. But it’s so important to get what you actually want out of life. If you don’t tell anyone how you are feeling, you will be constantly burdened with.
I see myself holding back from expressing what I want and how I feel, and then I see others that I have met along my travels that are so open. And often they seem to be much happier. I have found myself so many times giving people the advice of ‘just do it, what is the worst that could happen?’ but I struggle to take that advice myself. It’s still a work in progress, which is why it has made it on the list of life lessons this time around.
I’ve always been an extremist. I’m either all in or all out and very rarely get caught in the middle. But one thing that I have noticed about myself, is that I change from day to day. Some days I might find something that I absolutely love and can’t get enough of it. And one week later, it doesn’t interest me anymore. And that is applicable to months and years down the track as well. But I’ve learned that this is ok. If you never allow yourself to change, you will forever remain the same, stuck on this stagnant level unable to personally grow.
The hardest part about letting go of your desires and emotions, is that it puts you out of your comfort zone. These things could have been your security blanket, and we all know how hard it is to get rid of those! But it is the only way to grow, and I think that is definitely worth it.
I’ve learned that it is ok to let go of things that no longer make me happy, and the things that I want to keep in my life just happen naturally. I’ve spent a lot of time on self development, trying to grow as a person. And that means constantly exposing myself to different things, people and experiences. If I had stuck with my emotions and desires I had five years ago, well, I definitely wouldn’t be the person I am today. And I really like this person and life a lot better than the one I had.
I think these are a lot more relevant to where I am today. And a note on the last one, is that people also change. I had a friend tell me recently how fake I am, because a few years back I hated animals, and now I advocate for their rights. This isn’t entirely true, I never hated animals, I just didn’t like to touch them and also have bad allergies. But one of the biggest changes that I am most proud of, is to stop cruelty to animals as normal. People change, and hopefully that is for the good. Just because you accepted something one day, doesn’t mean that you can’t change for the better and take a more human approach to things the next day.
I’ve found that we are so conditioned to accept things, having other people’s beliefs pushed on us from such a young age. And when your mind is easily moulded, it can be hard to break out of those habits. The me that wrote the first 3 life lessons back in 2017, well, she was a work addict and alcoholic. I thought that I was already achieving all that I was set out for. But a few diagnosis and mental health issues later, I completely transformed my life. And I hardly recognise that person four years ago as a part of me. She is more like an old friend who just naturally found themselves distanced because there wasn’t much in common anymore.
The girl who wrote the updated 3 life lessons this morning, she is an improvement, but still a work in progress.
I’d love to hear other people’s 3 life lessons, so please feel free to drop them in the comments!